“I just want to be happy.” That’s a phrase anyone on earth could likely get behind, even if they don’t say so out loud. We just want to do things that feel good. That take sadness away. Many have attached the flip side of this sentiment to being ‘sad’ as though sadness is something to avoid at all costs. The truth is of course not so simple. Obviously crying at your favorite table at the coffee shop around the corner is going to garner a different sort of attention than laughing at a joke you read or smiling at a favorite memory, but in the appropriate context, crying (and sadness) is not only appropriate, but healthy to your growth and maturity as a human being.
…crying was more likely to make people feel better when they had emotional support…
“Tears become a sort of social lubricant,” says Robert R. Provine, PhD, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Maryland, “helping to ensure the smooth functioning of a community by helping people communicate.” In one study for the Journal of Research in Personality, (2011), it was found that crying was more likely to make people feel better when they had emotional support like a close friend nearby, or if crying for a positive circumstance. Nienke van Leeuwen, a PhD candidate at Utrecht University, found that 22% of patients with Sjogren’s syndrome had “significantly more difficulty” identifying their own feelings than control participants did (Clinical and Experimental Rheumatology, 2012).
Emotions are like GPS…
The belief that no emotions means strength in our society is effectively “Science Fiction” states Guy Winch while speaking on a panel at the Aspen Ideals Festival, co-hosted by the Aspen Institute and The Atlantic. They are effectively a moral barometer to be analyzed. In the same Atlantic article, Psychotherapist and columnist for the Atlantic’s “Dear Therapist” Lori Gottlieb writes “Emotions are like GPS. They help to guide us.”
Even if they feel good most of the time, they may still think that they should feel even better…
We as a culture, ESPECIALLY in the US, seem to be obsessed with being happier longer with as little emotions outside of happiness as possible. “People want to feel very good all the time in Western cultures, especially in the United States,” Maya Tamir, PhD, a psychology professor at The Hebrew University of Jerusalem said. “Even if they feel good most of the time, they may still think that they should feel even better, which might make them less happy overall.” So with all this, you could glean that crying with friends and/or your therapist (whom is there in the first place to walk you through your emotions) holds far more positive effects than attempting to hold it in. Emotions are often said to be like waves, which ebb and flow. If you attempt to suppress them, they often take longer to finally subside. So if you feel those tears welling… Just… Go with the flow… If you are in the Denton or Richardson, TX area and would like more information on setting up a consultation, contact us.