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Marriage Counseling is Preventive Maintenance

close up of a couple with hands joined and wedding rings visible

While there are things that run fine without maintenance, most things in this world need a little bit of ongoing care to keep them working efficiently. You wouldn’t consider driving your car without ever changing the oil and a wise homeowner changes the HVAC air filter at least quarterly. We clean everything from clothes to rain gutters on a regular basis because anything will eventually begin to fall apart without this kind of maintenance. Marriages are really no different; life has a way of wearing them down. Conflicts can arise from many sources: different backgrounds; unfulfilled expectations, be they realistic or not; a careless comment on social media; financial troubles; child-rearing disagreements; even a bed-partner who snores can cause marital strife. Marriage Counseling is Preventive Maintenance

When two people come together in a home there are bound to be disagreements and disappointments on both sides. Like crumbs under the sofa, a single one is likely to go unnoticed. But crumbs have a way of slowly multiplying until one day you go looking for a lost toy or the TV remote and you realize that all those dropped cereal bits and spilled sodas have led to a carpet shampooing crisis. Problems in a marriage also have a way of building up unnoticed until the day that one partner suddenly realizes he or she is no longer happy in the relationship. The marriage is in crisis and you need counseling. But often, by the time a couple realizes this need at least one of the partners has built up so much pain, anger or resentment that he or she no longer really wants to work the relationship out. And even if the couple does seek counseling, it is a long and painful process to repair the damage that has been done. In contrast, regular, professional marriage counseling can help ensure the success of your relationship by:

  • Teaching you proactive ways to communicate effectively
  • Identifying differences and disagreements before they become arguments
  • Helping you find peaceful solutions for these conflicts so you can work as a team in these areas
  • Giving you a safe, neutral environment in which to bring up concerns, with an unbiased third party to help you see the problem clearly
  • Teaching you about your partner so you can better understand how to relate to him or her
  • Discovering changes you can or should make in your own behavior in order to improve your relationship

The list of benefits could go on and on. The bottom line is that preemptive counseling can lead to a healthier, more productive relationship and reduce the possibility of a future break-up. And yet, you may think, “but counseling is expensive; I can’t afford it”. While billboards advertise divorces for a few hundred dollars, a NOLO survey found that the average cost of a divorce in the U.S. is $15,500. This does not include the added cost of living separately after the divorce and the emotional cost to which no price tag can be attached. In contrast, marriage counseling is like a retirement investment. It costs us now, but helps to secure our future. Is the future you envision with your spouse worth this investment to you? If you think it is, then contact us today to schedule an appointment with a counselor.