When two people get married, it’s good if one of them knows a thing or two about finances. When two married people plan to separate, what happens to the person who isn’t involved in the finances? Facing a separation is scary enough, but fear of finances after a separation is even scarier. What does this person need to do? Face the facts, become informed, and move forward with wisdom and confidence.
Facing the Facts
You were married, and you let your spouse handle the finances. Now you’re going to be on your own. Don’t ignore the fearsome fact that you need to know your numbers. Finances can be frightening, but they aren’t impossible. It can be comforting to realize that all your friends and neighbors are dealing with similar issues. Many, many people are struggling financially. You are not alone.
What is the best way to find things out about your own finances? Ask questions. Go to your banker and learn as much as you can from him or her. You do not need to be embarrassed by your own insecurity or ignorance. Bankers have seen it all, and they are there to help you understand your finances. You may need to ask your spouse questions as well. This can be difficult if the two of you are not getting along well. Use email or texting if talking is too hard. Find a way to communicate in as professional and non-confrontational way as possible.
Be Wise and Confident
Wisdom does not automatically come with age. Wisdom comes from making decisions and learning from them. When you begin making your own financial decisions, you will grow and mature in your financial wisdom. You might make some poor decisions, but that’s part of life. Learn from it, and move forward! You will eventually gain confidence in your own ability to manage your money. Part of being wise and confident comes from learning from others. If you would like to talk over your separation, talk about overcoming fear of finances, or if you need to step back and find out what makes you unique, please contact one of our professional counselors. We can help.